“I’ll Be Gone in the Dark” – Michelle McNamara
If you love true crime, you'll know how easy it is to get sucked into a good mystery; to become obsessed with the crime, the victims, and the killer, spending way too much time researching suspects and facts, looking into any type of media source you can to gain every last ounce of information possible surrounding the case. But then reality hits you. You look at your alarm clock on the nightstand flashing 2:30 a.m. and you step away from the story. You stop googling, put the book down, or turn off the television/radio, even when a part of you still wants to know more. You restrain yourself. Thank God Michelle McNamara didn't. Freelance writer and true crime aficionado, McNamara became obsessed with the East Area Rapist / Original Night Stalker, a.k.a. the Golden State Killer (a term she coined herself). Using her daughter's playroom as a makeshift office, she spent years researching the crimes, pouring over law enforcement notes, scanning eBay for potential trinkets the man may have taken from his victims, and interviewing past and present investigators, hoping to find out who this man was and why he was terrorizing the citizens of California for over a decade.
The novel I'll Be Gone in the Dark chronicles McNamara's endless search to identify the Golden State Killer, following her as she uncovers potential clues, meets with detectives, and travels straight to previous crime scenes to unmask the notorious serial rapist/killer. Unfortunately, McNamara wasn't able to complete her novel before her unexpected death in 2016. Moved by her work, the novel was finished with the help of her team, her husband Patton Oswald, and psychological fiction writer Gillian Flynn (author of Gone Girl). Together, McNamara, Oswald, and Flynn help consolidate all of the bits and pieces of this gruesome and terrifying story, guiding the reader through the important aspects of the crimes and investigation like they were there themselves.
I've never read a nonfiction novel that read so much like a fiction novel (this is a complement, as I don't normally read nonfiction), but this book easily drew me in without boring me with too many details. Within the first 25 pages, I was hooked and couldn't put the book down. I even had nightmares that the Golden State Killer was standing at the end of my bed (I invest a lot of time in the true crime world and nightmares like this are a rarity for me). It didn’t take long for McNamara to get into my head. She had me as emotionally invested in the crime as she was, and it's a true shame she didn't get to see the finished product. However, thanks to her, DNA, and a persistent investigative team, the Golden State Killer was recently apprehended. If you go into this novel knowing the criminal behind the crimes, it's stunning to see what McNamara and law enforcement correctly picked up on throughout the investigation, their noses just over the mad-man. If you don't know anything about the case when you start the book, that's okay too! McNamara's account of the crimes and investigation make it easy to get up to speed, understand, and enjoy without having spent hours listening to true crime podcasts on your way to work.
McNamara wrote I'll Be Gone in the Dark as if she were speaking to you personally, which helped make it really easy to become engrossed in her work. She also wrote it like a story, so I didn't feel like I was reading the script for a dated Forensic Files episode. When discussing true crime, I believe it's tricky to keep the reader 100% invested and entertained, to know which information to add but also to know which information to leave out (especially when the case is unsolved like this investigation was during the making of this book), and to make sure they're being respectful to the victims and the law enforcement team managing the case, but McNamara is successful in all of the above. If you're a true crime junky like myself, you’ve devoured multiple resources in various avenues regarding the Golden State Killer, but the resources started to blur into each other as the case grew older. McNamara found a way to bring this case back to life, not just in the eyes of law enforcement but also in the eyes of the reader. You can feel her passion and it draws you in, making it hard to focus on much else.
I grappled for a long time about whether to add the review for I’ll Be Gone in the Dark to the True Crime Corner or not. Although this novel’s genre would be considered “true crime”, I believe it's a book most people could enjoy without being an armchair investigator (those who are obsessed with true crime and may try to research unsolved crimes from the comfort of their living room Lay-Z-Boy). She shows how easy it is to become obsessed with something, even when it’s dark and forbidden, or not directly related to anything we've seen or experienced. McNamara is just like you, me, and every other relatively normal person out there, and that's part of the reason her addiction to the truth behind the Golden State Killer is so fascinating.
Even though I loved the whole entire novel, I'll Be Gone in the Dark would be worth picking up just for the end. In the last couple pages, McNamara addresses the Golden State Killer in, "A Letter to an Old Man." These few pages moved me in a way I've never been moved by anything else related to true crime, and I'm thankful for her effortless work, sleepless nights, and passion. If you're looking for a novel (which just so happens to be true crime related) that will have you sitting on the edge of your seat through its decade's long ride, I'll Be Gone in the Dark may be a perfect addition to your list. Warning to those who are easily upset by murder/rape and some details behind them, this is NOT a book for your list.
